Tips for Beginners
Those that are interested in BDSM should start out slow. They should only try a scene after speaking with their partner and making sure that they are both in the mood. If one is not in the mood it should be put off to another day. This should not be tried with strangers as most of the acts are based on communication and trust. BDSM has nothing to do with a person’s reality. Their daily life and this sex act should be kept separate.
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Tips For Dominate and Submissive play
This play can be fun and so some it may be a little much to get used to. There are some things to keep in mind when playing this scene. Before a coupe gets involved in the play they need to discuss possible limits and what they are willing and not willing to do. Even people that are into BDSM have some boundaries that need to be followed. The submissive person should have a safe word to allow their partner to know if they are in distress. While the and the master can have some fun they should discuss what they are willing to do and not willing to do before the session begins.
What to Wear
When a person thinks of BDSM they think of leather, collars ,and lots of things with studs and points. A person can wear whatever they feel comfortable in. Many people feel that leather is erotic and like the feel of it against their skin. Pleather is a great choice for those that are not really into leather but still want the cool look. There are a number of different collars. Some like them tighter than others. To find the right clothing a person can go to the online store or they can visit the local sex shop. They will have a number of clothing that can be worn for this play. What a couple wears will determine what it up to them and what they feel comfortable in.
This is a topic that many people have some trouble understanding. The word punishment is often mistaken for the word discipline. In real life and in the BDSM world there are two different things. When a couple is playing the punishment is given to a person that is playing the submissive role and they happen to break the rule. They can also be punished if they have displeased the dominate person. The dominate person will be teaching the submissive person what they like and what they want them to do. When they do not follow the rules or do something wrong punishment must be given. This will help make sure the dominate person gets pleased and gets to have the most fun. Punishment can be overused. There are several ways to punish the submissive person that is not doing the right thing.
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In BSDM the collar has many different purposes. Some people have taken the collar out of the bedroom and have started to wear it as fashion accessories. Collars should fight snugly around the throat and many are made of leather while some of the newer ones are made from metal. Many collars have rings that go around them. They are often used by people that are into bondage. If a person likes the feel of something around their neck but cannot wear them in the real world they can substitute collars with necklaces or ribbons during the day. Once the person is back to their bondage play the collar can go back on.
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Common Types of Play
Spanking is popular in BDSM. There are a number of things that can be used for the purpose of spanking. Paddles, belts, floggs, and other items can be used. It is recommended to spank the buttocks of the person. The spankee can lay face down and get their punishment. The spanking should start off gentle and increase as it continues. When a person is spanked on the buttocks they can feel heat that is generated from this area and it can travel to the pelvic area. This can raise their arousal level. Spanking can be mixed with kissing and touching as well. Spanking should be followed with some form of soothing act that will bring the couple together and allow them to continue the play. If spanking is being used as a form of punishment that the spankee must know that they are forgiven.
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Bondage and Sex
Some people enjoy being tied up and their actions are restricted. They have to do exactly what their partner wants and do not have much of a choice about it. There is something erotic when it comes to bondage. There are many different types of items that can be used for their binding purposes. Some of these items can be purchased online or through the local porn shop. For those that just want to try they can start with belts, handcuffs, and other straps. The items should be restrictive but not painful.
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For some begging for sexual acts is a turn on. BDSM includes one person that begs to perform sex act or the other person can beg to receive certain sex acts. This is another form of punishment that is used in the BDSM sex. When a person has to beg for pleasure they are being punished. For others begging their partner to continue is a big turn on. Most people have the person that is in the submissive role beg the dominate person for pleasure or to keep up a certain sexual act so they can have an orgasm. The orgasm and the pleasure needs to be granted by the dominate person in this game.
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Like with many types of lifestyles there are some rituals that are involved in BDSM. These rituals are not as scary as some people may think. They do not involve any form of Devil worship or others things that the average person feels this type of sex involves. Rituals are a part of the habit and can be used in some cases as a form of foreplay. These rituals can also be calming and relaxing. In BDSM a common ritual it to take a couple of minutes and relax and kneel down. This can allow the couple to relax before and after they engage in their scene. They may also write in a journal about the experience. This will allow a person to focus on what they are about to it. It can also help a person focus and get into their role that they are going to play. Another common ritual is that of reconciliation. This is where a person asks for forgiveness. They state that they have done wrong, how they realized it was wrong, and what they could have done as a replacement to this behavior. Some couples use this as a form of punishment as well. When a person has done wrong they need to be spanked or punished is some other form. They will be able to get rid of the guilty that they have and enjoy the kinky sex. When a person is finally worthy of a collar it is a big deal. The placement of the collar in itself can be a ritual. These rituals were designed to help relax the mind and will help the couple get in the mood.
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