Bondage Domination Discipline, Sado/Sadism and Masochism
There are many people out there that are interested in some wild sex. This includes those that enjoy bondage and BDSM. For those that are not familiar with this they may think that all bondage consists of is being tired up and whipped. While partners do enjoy tying each other up there is more to this form of sex than many people. There is some basic information on BDSM for those that are not familiar with this type of sex play. They will discover some of the basic scenes and will learn the important of communication. This type of sex can be enjoyed by many people. It is enjoyed by those that have the typical look and those that people would never expect to be into BDSM. There are some toys that can be used for sexual fun and there are limits that need to be set.
Some people get certain parts of their body pierced just for BDSM play. People often get piece for a sense of ownership. The dominate partner may allow the submissive partner to get piercings for their sexual pleasure. They can be worm everywhere a person goes and are can be hidden. For example if a person has their nipples pierced they can easily hide this under a shirt. Genital piercings are even easier to hide. Genital piercings can be used for sexual stimulation and as part of a sex play. Both a man and a woman can get various areas of their genitals pieces for stimulation. Piercings are reviewed as a more permanent form a collar. When the submissive partner is given a collar is shows that the dominate one is happy with them and they are doing well. It is a form of a reward. A piecing is the next step up from this to show that the submissive one has been pleasing the dominate partner. Other people get pierced just for the feeling. Many like the sensation they get when their piercing is played with. For some it is painful and pleasurable at the same time. The piercing can be gently tugged at to cause this little bit of pain but at the same time stimulate the body to produce a feeling of pleasure.
Breath Control Play
Breath control is better known to most as suffocation or strangulation. When a couple engages in this type of play they need to be very careful. Things can go from fun to very bad within a couple of seconds. When a couple engages in breath control they need to be aware of their partner to make sure it does not go too far. They need to monitor their breathing and be aware of their vital signs. If a couple is going to use some type of strangulation they should be gentle. While gentle and bondage do not usually go together a person does not want to make their partner go unconscious. That will kill the mood. Strangulation can provide a sexual high to some people. When engaging in this act nothing should be placed over the head. Bags are not used. There are certain toys that can be used for this purpose. Many consider this a more risky act for BDSM and should only be used by people that are experienced in this type of sex. It is not for beginners. A couple has to have a open line of communication in order to engage in this type of play.
When a couple is engaging in BDSM acts the key to success is communicating with each other. This is the most important thing that they need to learn. Not only can it be used to command sexual pleasure it can tell a person if they are going too far and need to back off a little. The couple can communicate how they like to be pleased and what they want. If their partner is not doing something right they should be able to tell them. They should be able to say if a person is going too fast or too slow. Some people like quick stroking while others like to take their time and enjoy the act. Some like it rough and enjoy being pounded and they need to communicate this. They should also communicate if their pleasure is going to straight pain. Some acts can be pleasurable but if the partner is being too rough they can be painful quickly. If a person is being spanked too hard and are no longer enjoying it they need to be able to communicate their to their partner. There should be one person is charge as the leader. This is usually the person that is going to assume the dominate role. They will be the one doing the spanking, tying up, and other sexual acts. The other person should follow along with what they are doing and pay attention to how they both move. This will be the submissive person and they will usually do what they are told. When the submissive person is in pain they should still be able to express this to the dominate one. Handcuffs, bondage, and other acts should not be spur of the moment. Some of this information needs to be discussed before the play begins. There should always be what is considered to be a safe word. Common safe words are yellow or limit. This will allow a partner to know to slow down or stop what they are doing because their parent is not enjoying it or is almost in distress. Just about every couple that engages in this sex has an agreed upon safe word to tell their partner to stop. If a person ignore the safe word and their partner is injured they can get into some legal trouble. A safe word is used to make the pain stop. In addition to safe words wait signals are used. They are often used in combination with the safe for. For example a person can move their toes or make a fist if they are becoming uncomfortable. The partner will recognize the symbol and they will stop and give their partner the time they need before continuing. This symbol should not be ignored either and decided upon before the sex beings. Both partners have to be aware of the symbols and should know if it is being used within a matter of seconds. A couple should check out each other often as well. They need to make sure they are stilling having fun and are not in any type of discomfort or pain. This will not kill the mood in any way. It will make sure that both people are okay and they are enjoying themselves. This will allow the sex to continue. If someone is not enjoying the play or they are in pain they will not want to continue to have sex.
For those that have not tried BDSM it is recommended that they start off slowly instead of charging right in. A couple can start off experimenting with handcuffs and maybe flogging with a feather and take it from there. Even if a couple is only doing one scene they should take things slow. The scenes can be intense and if the couple is not prepared things will not go as they expect it to. A couple can use soft items at first. They can use feathers to tickle their partner. This will help them relax and help them get in the mood. After a couple of minutes they can continue on with the next move. Even when a couple is well into a scene they can alternate between intense and less intense moves. This will help ease the fears and allow them to have some fun while experimenting with new BDSM moves. This will help keep things interesting and keep them wanting more. A couple can always add to their sex act. Once they go too far and if they do so too quickly it is hard to turn back. Starting off slowly in not only makes the session last longer it will have both people in the mood. They will get use to some of the things involved with BDSM and will get used to playing the roles. When a couple is engaging in bondage they should start slowly as well. The person on the bottom can hold their body in a fixed position before they are tired up in any way. At this time there is nothing restraining the person. The only thing that holds them in place is their ability to stay still. This will give them a chance to experience the play and see if they like it. If the couple likes it then they can move on from there. As they become more comfortable then handcuffs (for sexual purposes) or ropes can be used. This can get a person comfortable at being in one position without being allowed to move for an extended period of time. When they are cuffed in place they will not freak out but will learn how to enjoy being submissive to their dominate partner.
There is nothing sexy about rape. Rape is a horrible thing that is committed. Some people do have a fantasy about their partner raping them but in a consensual way. They may want to act out being in control of someone or having someone completely control them. Pretending to be raped is a common fantasy in BDSM. Both parties have to agree to this and want to be involved. At this point they can plan on how they want to act it out so that they can both enjoy the sexual experience. When acting out this fantasy the violence is not real. No one should end up being hurt or left in pain. Some people want to be overpowered by their partner and that part is a turn on. They may want to be pushed around a little or have their clothing ripped off. They may even want their partner to have their way and pretend they are fighting back. When a couple is acting out this scene it is going to take a lot of planning and preparation. They need to agree on a safe word as one of their first steps. The victim should act like they are trying to resist. The perpetrator should massage or show a tender mood to their partner once in a while to show that this is just play. Once the scene is over the couple should talk about what happened and how they are feeling. They should talk about what they liked and what could have been done differently. This will keep things fun and remind both people they were just acting. The main difference with this act is BDSM is that both people must consent to the activity. One person is allowing themselves to be controlled by another. If a person is going to act submissive it should be done on their own free will and they should get some type of enjoyment out of this sexual act.
Finding a Partner
Not everyone is going to like BDSM. For some people it may be too much for them to handle. That is why many think that finding a partner can be a challenge. Before a couple can engage in this type of sexual act they need to be able to trust each other and know that is there is an emergency their partner will save them. This may make some people nervous. There are others that just fine with having regular and plain sex. In BDSM sex there are people that want to be dominant and in control while others prefer to be submissive. Both people need to be able to relax and enjoy the role that they are going to play. Being submissive can be hard for some people while others may enjoy letting go and allowing someone else to take control. People can go the traditional way through the dating process to find a partner. They can stop off small with maybe some handcuffs and if both people enjoy it they can move on from there. They should talk about the acts they want to be part of and see if they are comfortable in the roles. They just may find someone that it into this type of sex or once they try it they may end up enjoying it. If that does not work out there are dating sites specifically for people that are into BDSM. Before having sex with a stranger they need to develop a trusting relationship and be able to get to know each other. For those that just want to talk about BDSM they can go to an internet chat room and have erotic talks with people that are into the same sex acts that they are into. While there is no physical interaction for some people they get excited just talking about the different scenes they and others have been involved in. If a person is patient and takes the time to talk about the different BDSM scenes with their partner they will eventually find a person that will work. Not everyone is going to enjoy this type of sex and there is going to be the process of getting to know and learning how to trust each other. If a person is patient it will pay off in the end.
This is another common scene in BSDM. It seems that modern people are not comfortable with the word slave so for some it is a turnoff. The word slave is different when it comes to sex. It means allowing another to be in total control. It can be a little degrading but the dominate person will be turned on by this. In BSDM is it s form of play. One of the partners will play the part of the Master. This is the person that is going to receive all of the pleasure. They will get to be in control. The job of the slave is to do what the master tells them to do without protest or complaining. In some cases the slaves may be hit with a paddle or a flogger if they were “bad” This is done for people that enjoy a little bit of pain with their pleasure. They are not being beaten until they cannot move. They are being hit by the Master for pain and for pleasure. The Master will enjoy being in control and punishing the slave. This is all part of a sex game between two consenting adults and should not be taken too harshly. In BDSM playing the part of slave and master can be a lot of fun.
There are some toys that will appear often in BDSM. The flogger is one of the most widely used toys. The flogger is more commonly known as a whip. Some of these can be soft while others may be a little harder. Floggers can be made from silk, deerskin, and even nylon rope without the knots. A person can be flogged and the pain from the flogging will allow the body to release endorphins where are a natural pain killer and for some a source of pleasure. The floggers should not leave a mark and a person should vary where they hit their partner. If they hit the same spot over and over again they may get a little sore. Paddles of crops come in different sizes and are also used to hit the skin. They can be soft and floppy or hard and stiff. They are often use to strike the buttocks or even the feet. They will be a little painful but if a person likes feeling a little pain they can get some pleasure from them as well. There are a number of creams and gels used in BDSM. Some of these gels can provide a warming sensation of the body. They can go from cold to warm just by blowing on them. There is some edible body paint that will allow the partners to be creative then have some fun removing their artwork from their partner. There are some oils that can be used for heating purposes . Peppermint and cinnamon oils can heat up the skin. This is great for foreplay and for a massage to allow the couple to get each other in the mood. Many of these oils and gels taste pretty good too. Clamps are for more advanced BDSM couples. There are a number of clamps that can be used for different purposes. Nipple clamps are popular and can be placed on a man or a woman. There are also clamps that were designed to be placed on the genitals. Clamps can provide a number of different sensations to the body. Clamps can provide a tingling feeling or just a touch of pain. There are other clamps that will apply more pain. When using clamps a person has to be aware if the pain becomes too much. Clamps can cut off circulation and will decrease blood flow to the area of the body. When playing with clamps they should be used for a short period of time. Many couples have experiments with dildos and vibrators at one time or another. They come in many shapes and sizes. They can be used in a number of ways and inserted into the body. The couple should comminute to make sure they are not inserted too deep especially if they are engaging in anal play. Wax is another fun activity. When using wax for BDSM be sure that paraffin wax is used. This wax has a lower melting temperature and will allow a couple to have fun instead of getting burned. This wax can be found in craft stores and comes in many different colors. When a couple is playing with wax they hold the wax above the body and allow it to drip down onto the flesh. For many this can be pleasurable. A good tip is to shave the area where the wax is going to be applied before having sex. This will make it easier to remove and will not hurt or pull out hairs upon removal.
Some people are into BDSM just for the sex while others make a lifestyle out of it. BDSM is more than just people walking around in collars. There are a number of respectable people during the day that like to let their wild side come out in the bedroom. Many people find regular sex fun but a little boring. While it is pleasurable they are looking for something else to meet their sexual needs. Some people may develop fantasies such as being tied up or spanked. There are some people that want a place where they can be in control of something. If a person is starting to have these feelings there is nothing that is wrong with them. They can explore a chat room to talk to others that have engaged in these sexual acts. There are a number of websites that are devoted to BDSM where a person can explore their feelings and see if they are really turned on by this type of sex. When a person enjoys this they can start to get into some of these acts. Many people that are into BDSM are able to hold steady jobs, get married, and even have children. Couples need to talk about their sexual needs and desires. If they want to be tied up and whipped it does not mean they are bad people. They just need a little something extra to add to their sex life. Not everyone that is into this has been abused in the past. While some people have the majority of these that engage in BDSM have not. They want to take their average sex life and make it more interesting. People that are into this need to be able to communicate and learn to be honest. In order for BDSM to be successful and enjoyable the couple needs to be able to communicate with each other about their fantasies and their likes and dislikes. Some people need a little bit of pain in order to feel pleasure and it makes sex even more exciting.
Tips for Beginners
Those that are interested in BDSM should start out slow. They should only try a scene after speaking with their partner and making sure that they are both in the mood. If one is not in the mood it should be put off to another day. This should not be tried with strangers as most of the acts are based on communication and trust. BDSM has nothing to do with a person’s reality. Their daily life and this sex act should be kept separate. This is not the time to punish a partner for the things that they have done wrong. That should be saved for the real world. A couple needs to be prepared just in case of an emergency. There should be some supplies such as a First Aid kit that are kept close by. It is helpful if they know CPR just in case. There should be a silent alarm used. A couple may not want the world to know about their kinky sex life but someone should know. They should tell a good friend where they will be and who they will be playing with. The couple should also agree on a safe word to notify the other person if they need to stop. Scenes should be planned out ahead of time. Nothing should be a last minute decision. This will allow the couple to agree on the type of play, any limits, and get all the proper sex toys that are going to be needed. This way they can be well prepared for a safe and a fun time. The dominate person should check in with their submissive partner during the session. They should check on them several times to make sure they are okay. A good way to check in with a partner is to squeeze their hand. If they squeeze back then they are basically all right. When in doubt check on the other person to make sure they are okay with everything that is going on. When selecting sex toys avoid points and sharp edges. This can lead to more pain then pleasure. A couple of should start off slowly. The one to ten techniques is often used. When a person is being spanked they start off lightly as a one. The power gradually increased until it reaches a ten. This will allow the couple to ease into it and enjoy the spanking. When whipping the body there are some places that are better than other. The buttocks and the upper back are meatier and while they may be a little painful they will be fine. Do not hit the other person in the liver as this will cause intense pain and will take their breath away. Avoid hitting in the genitals as this can be very painful. When the couple is interested in piercing they should use the services of a professional body piercer. The piecing will be done in a clear environment with new needles. This will greatly reduce the chance of developing an infection. Blindfolds make a person vulnerable. It should not be done the first time a couple is engaging in BDSM. If a couple is into bondage they can start out being tied up or gagged. Once the couple gets used to bondage and if they both liked it then the blindfold can be used. Never leave a person alone during this play even for a second. Make sure they are untied before moving away from them. There are special scissors that should be kept close by. Paramedic scissors can be used if a person is tired up too tightly and the ropes are not coming off. Always keep the key to the handcuffs in a safe place. This will save an embarrassing explanation if professions need to be called in for the removal.
Tips For Dominate and Submissive play
This play can be fun and so some it may be a little much to get used to. There are some things to keep in mind when playing this scene. Before a coupe gets involved in the play they need to discuss possible limits and what they are willing and not willing to do. Even people that are into BDSM have some boundaries that need to be followed. The submissive person should have a safe word to allow their partner to know if they are in distress. While the and the master can have some fun they should discuss what they are willing to do and not willing to do before the session begins.
What to Wear
When a person thinks of BDSM they think of leather, collars ,and lots of things with studs and points. A person can wear whatever they feel comfortable in. Many people feel that leather is erotic and like the feel of it against their skin. Pleather is a great choice for those that are not really into leather but still want the cool look. There are a number of different collars. Some like them tighter than others. To find the right clothing a person can go to the online store or they can visit the local sex shop. They will have a number of clothing that can be worn for this play. What a couple wears will determine what it up to them and what they feel comfortable in.
This is a topic that many people have some trouble understanding. The word punishment is often mistaken for the word discipline. In real life and in the BDSM world there are two different things. When a couple is playing the punishment is given to a person that is playing the submissive role and they happen to break the rule. They can also be punished if they have displeased the dominate person. The dominate person will be teaching the submissive person what they like and what they want them to do. When they do not follow the rules or do something wrong punishment must be given. This will help make sure the dominate person gets pleased and gets to have the most fun. Punishment can be overused. There are several ways to punish the submissive person that is not doing the right thing. The person can be whipped, spanked, and anything else that the dominate person feels like doing. The submissive person should know what they are being punished for and how they should fix it for the next time. The punishment should fit the thing that they have done wrong. The dominate person can also take away privileges that the submissive person was given. There are certain things that they will not be able to do or be able to perform without getting permission from the dominate person. They need to earn back the sexual acts that they want to perform. Many submissive people know they are being punished and disappointing the dominate partner is something that is punishment enough for them. When the dominate person is punishing the submissive person it should be solely based on the BDSM play. They should not be punishing them for something that they have done is real life. The punishment should also fit the scene. They should not do something that is out of character and that should be part of another scene.
In BSDM the collar has many different purposes. Some people have taken the collar out of the bedroom and have started to wear it as fashion accessories. Collars should fight snugly around the throat and many are made of leather while some of the newer ones are made from metal. Many collars have rings that go around them. They are often used by people that are into bondage. If a person likes the feel of something around their neck but cannot wear them in the real world they can substitute collars with necklaces or ribbons during the day. Once the person is back to their bondage play the collar can go back on. The submissive person has also worn anklets to show that they are submissive to their partner. These are easy enough to cover during the day and can be worn without attracting too much attention. Many people that are into bondage use the collar as a symbol that the submissive person will follow the dominate one. The collar must be earned and they have to feel like they are worthy to wear it. The dominate one gives the collar to their partner to show they are happy with that they have been doing. Only the dominate person can take the collar off the submissive partner and put is somewhere for safe keeping until they next time they have sex. The collar can be worn by the submissive person to show that they are owned and belong to the dominate one. The collar should be worn with pride. When the submissive person has a collar it shows that they have made the dominate person happy and is a symbol of achievement.
Common Types of Play
Spanking is popular in BDSM. There are a number of things that can be used for the purpose of spanking. Paddles, belts, floggs, and other items can be used. It is recommended to spank the buttocks of the person. The spankee can lay face down and get their punishment. The spanking should start off gentle and increase as it continues. When a person is spanked on the buttocks they can feel heat that is generated from this area and it can travel to the pelvic area. This can raise their arousal level. Spanking can be mixed with kissing and touching as well. Spanking should be followed with some form of soothing act that will bring the couple together and allow them to continue the play. If spanking is being used as a form of punishment that the spankee must know that they are forgiven.
Humiliation is another type of play that people engage in. before using this type of play a couple has to be in agreement and they should know that it is for a sexual purpose. The dominate person will humiliate the submissive one and they need some agreed upon things and boundaries. The dominate person can flog ,hit, or do something similar to their submissive person to let them know that they are in control. Some people find it erotic to call their partner names during sex. They may call them sluts or whores as part of the sex play. For many this can be a turn on. A couple has to make sure they do not go too far. While calling someone a whore during sex may be a turn on after the session is done they need to talk about this and work things out.
Bondage and Sex
Some people enjoy being tied up and their actions are restricted. They have to do exactly what their partner wants and do not have much of a choice about it. There is something erotic when it comes to bondage. There are many different types of items that can be used for their binding purposes. Some of these items can be purchased online or through the local porn shop. For those that just want to try they can start with belts, handcuffs, and other straps. The items should be restrictive but not painful. They should not cut of the circulation of blood. The dominate person will be in complete control and be will able to use the submissive person for whatever they want. They can tease them, punish them, and the submissive person has to follow along. The couple needs to be able to trust each other in order for this to be successful. Ropes are often used. Neckties and belts can be used as well. They often bind the hands together and can be used behind the back or to objects such as chairs. The feet can be tied apart and bound to other objects as well. It is best to use a nautical rope so that it will be comfortable and a person will not be in pain. Straps can be used and are often made of leather or nylon. They are used to bind the hands and the feet. They are more restrictive and for some more fun. Cuffs including handcuffs are used mainly on the wrists. They can be made from metal or leather. Velcro cuffs are also becoming popular. They can be used on the hands to bind them to another part of the body or another object. Be sure to put the key to the handcuffs in a safe place if they are being used. When a couple is using chains they need to be extra careful. Chains can be used to help support the cuffs that are placed on the hand. Look for chains that have a clean finish and will not tighten on their own. Be sure the chains have a quick release feature just in case something were to do wrong. Bars are used to separate the legs or the hands from each other. The BDSM bar is usually around two to three feet long. This will allow the dominate to control the submissive and have access to the area of the body that they want. Be sure the bars are secure so that they do not come lose and hit some. Suspension devices can be a lot of fun if they are used correctly. These devices can be used to raise someone off of the ground. They will be almost handing in the area. These devices are not recommended for people that are just getting into BDSM. They take a little bit of practice and will need to be properly installed so that a person does not fall during sex. There are a number of other items that can be used for the purpose of BDSM play. There are gymnastic horses, racks, benches, and many other items. They may take up a lot of space in the home. A person should have enough room for these items. Many people have separate rooms in their home or living area that are set up for bondage and BDSM play. This way they have enough room to use all of these items and do not have to explain to others what they are used for. Some people also have a dungeon equipped with these items as well. This will allow them to train the submissive person. Be sure to check all the items before use. They need to be in proper working order. If something is damaged it can lead to injury and ruin the mood.
For some begging for sexual acts is a turn on. BDSM includes one person that begs to perform sex act or the other person can beg to receive certain sex acts. This is another form of punishment that is used in the BDSM sex. When a person has to beg for pleasure they are being punished. For others begging their partner to continue is a big turn on. Most people have the person that is in the submissive role beg the dominate person for pleasure or to keep up a certain sexual act so they can have an orgasm. The orgasm and the pleasure needs to be granted by the dominate person in this game. For the dominate person begging is another way that they can have power over their partner. They can choose to give in to the begging or they can tease their partner a little before giving into their needs. Many find this act to be fun.
Like with many types of lifestyles there are some rituals that are involved in BDSM. These rituals are not as scary as some people may think. They do not involve any form of Devil worship or others things that the average person feels this type of sex involves. Rituals are a part of the habit and can be used in some cases as a form of foreplay. These rituals can also be calming and relaxing. In BDSM a common ritual it to take a couple of minutes and relax and kneel down. This can allow the couple to relax before and after they engage in their scene. They may also write in a journal about the experience. This will allow a person to focus on what they are about to it. It can also help a person focus and get into their role that they are going to play. Another common ritual is that of reconciliation. This is where a person asks for forgiveness. They state that they have done wrong, how they realized it was wrong, and what they could have done as a replacement to this behavior. Some couples use this as a form of punishment as well. When a person has done wrong they need to be spanked or punished is some other form. They will be able to get rid of the guilty that they have and enjoy the kinky sex. When a person is finally worthy of a collar it is a big deal. The placement of the collar in itself can be a ritual. These rituals were designed to help relax the mind and will help the couple get in the mood.
Bondage and BDSM is not for sexual deviants. There are many people that are into this lifestyle and many that enjoy these sexual acts. There are professionals that are into this as well as people with families. What goes on behind closed doors is a matter of personal likes and dislikes. Bondage and BDSM can be a lot of fun. There are some important things that need to be kept in mind when a couple is going to try this form of sex. Reality and BDSM are two different things. They should not cross. If a person is submissive here they do not need to be submissive in real life. Punishment from wrongdoing in the real world should not carry over to punishment when having BDSM sex. The couple needs to be able to trust each other if they are going to engage in hitting, whipping, and bondages. While this is fun there are times when things can go wrong and the couple needs to be able to rely on each other for help. Communication is also key. The couple needs to develop safe words and other forms of communicating their needs and letting the other person know if they have gone too far . If a couple takes proper precautions and discussed their like, dislikes, and limitations BDSM can spice up their sex life and they can find a new way to have some sexual fun.